I can see my alter ego cruising, running, through the paths untouched by humanity.
I can taste the tasteless champagne at my success party, surrounded by people I think I know.
I can see You. Lying next to me, beautiful as ever.
These are the visions, the sights that ignite a dying fire of fear. Of losing. You. All this. Everything. Myself!
I try resisting the urge to blink. But fail.
The next thing I see is I’m still lying on that same old bed, in that same old room, of that same old house, reinjected with that same old feeling of wasting each precious moment I could’ve used up in building up the stairs to my heaven. All I want to do is jump on the horse I nicknamed Life and hold its reigns in my hand, leading to the castle I see clearly. But do I need to describe that feeling of helplessness we all encounter once time controls us?
Has it ever occurred to you that we actually live lifetimes in fast-forward once the damsel of sleep takes over us, and eyes are shut tight to let not any of those lives escape? The time when we’re just led to one thing and another and another and yet another so quickly that we realise, once the eyes are open, that time doesn’t keep time when we’re in the life of our dreams. No watch but sun aides us in keeping track of the hour!
The exhiliration poured in dread when you’re falling from the sky!
The love veiled under the blush when you embrace the person of your dreams!
That sense of achievement when you find yourself happily doing things you’ve always craved to.
These feeling are unbeatable, unmatchable, with an exception to when you’re living that moment, when your eyes are closed, heart racing and brain confused.
Every night, since the one that gifted me the realisation of my dream, I see myself riding beasts and taming their paths. Yes that’s my dreams hidden under words with the dark pardah!
Such should be the inspiration!
Such should be the passion!
Such should be the glitter of madness!